As some are aware, a friend of mine has chosen in the past to share some of her experiences, very bravely, with the use of this blog.
Today she has found the courage to do so again with her take on Police Attitudes toward historic Child Sexual Abuse.
Why I wont engage with pallial
November last year was a scary time for me, emotionally and physically and mentally. One Sunday morning I logged onto the BBC website, and there it was, the breaking news of the scale of abuse in North Wales Children's Homes. I was at first shocked that finally it was out there, and upset at the same time because I knew what lay ahead.
As someone who has been through the care system my experience of sexual abuse is different from yours, my abusers were paid to take care of me, as well as sexually abusing me, they physically and mentally abused me also. My abusers all knew each other and protected each other. As a 12 year old I had worked that out. I accept abuse is abuse, rape is rape, if you haven’t been in care, you wont have been made available to paedophiles, and when you were older and you felt brave enough to confront not only what happened to you, but to inform the police, they disbelieve you. The Police in my opinion in 1999 starting point was that your lying, that your to damaged to be believed. Add to that, what people like me have been saying since the 1960’s this abuse was organized, wide spread, and as our abusers told us, we would never be believed., I knew I was the victim of state sponsored child abuse, because the authorities knew and did nothing about it, therefore my abuse was expected. I was told in 1999, when one of my abusers was still alive, that as I had been given cigarettes by one, this legally was judged to me a contract between us, he had paid me for raping me, I was 12 years old. So I then, for me any justice would have to wait, attitudes would need to change, and maybe the law itself would change. So when I read those headlines that Sunday, I thought the time had come.
So I did what I was advised to do and contacted my Local Police Force to report yet again the abuse I have experienced. They didn’t see it as a priority and I respect that to them its is not, but I feel with the ramifications of my abuse each day, I have learnt that you have to wait for justice and a chance to be heard. An appointment was made for an officer from Warwickshire Police was made to come out to my home and interview me. Im a well educated product of the system, what our abusers forgot was that we grow up, and despite they best efforts I manage to live a reasonably normal life.
On the evening the police attended my property, I was interviewed by a policewomen with the interpersonal skills of idiot. When I detailed my abuse whilst in the care of Byrn Alyn, the response I got was ‘that happended to you?’ I felt I had to defend myself. If that wasn’t bad enough when I further detailed other abuse, I told that my chances of prosecution were none, that the CPS didnt act on these cases, they were a waste of police time, and I was wasting my time. The Police women asked my partner how I was coping, did she think I was fit for a police video interview. When I challenged her on what she was saying to me, she told me she was telling me as it was. It was all about putting me off making a statement. This was a very upsetting experience, and the filth was asked to leave. Even though I was given an incident number, Warwickshire Police have never contacted me to take this further. I did speak to the Officers seargent, even though the officer took no notes she managed to write about 6 pages. Apparently according to the officer I had previously made allegations about my time at Bryn Alyn, I hadn’t, that I do know. For me this was my final opportunity to get justice, I had previously tried and failed. Here we go again I thought, if its previously been investigated why bother? You know what, all this made me feel that I would rather kill myself than ever deal with people like that again. Well done Warwickshire Police, your service to me was immense. Like I have said, they have never come back to me about this.
Being ex byrn Alyn, I pushed the issue and after a period of recovery after the Warwickshire police incident I contacted operation Pallial. After a quick are you reporting sexual or physical abuse, I advised that whilst one of my abusers was based at Bryn alyn in wrexham, I was at Cotsbrook Hall in Shropshire. This home was named in the Waterhouse Report. They took my details and told me that I didn’t fall within there remit. They told me they would forward my details to West Mercia Police. Very quickly, after less than half an hour West Mercia Police called me, asked me specific questions, who when, any witnesses, can anyone else confirm this etc etc, West Merica advised me that I either needed to go to Telford Police Station to make a statement. I advised that Telford and Shropshire were not my favorite places and I declined, they said they would be in touch with my local force to arrange an interview.
Great the professional people from Warwickshire, don’t waste you time, we don’t believe you, you ex care scum bag. The scum from Warwickshire called me to make an appointment for me to go in to make a statement, I was advised I would be interviewed by trained people. I advised I wanted to take legal advise as from what I was being told, I would be involved in multiple investigations, spanning Coventry to North Wales, anything upto three different Forces, indeed, technically an incident took place whilst on an outward bound course in Cumbria, would that single incident be dealt with my Cumbria Police?
I decided against at that point making any allegations about my time at Bryn Alyn, for me the real damage lay elsewhere. I advised Warwickshire Police about this, they phoned me almost daily to make a statement. I was told that I needed to sign a statement stating that I at this time didn’t want to proceed, but when ready I would. This was not a nice meeting, I was told that the Police had chanced, they were not the same police they were in 80’s. This I found is statement to be very ironic. Same old, same old if you ask me. The following day West Mercia police called me, I was shopping and the police man was prising information from me, it hard they just keep on asking, keep on pushing answers out of you, demanding names, so they can have the full details for when they do interview me.
The following day, I was arrested by Warwickshire Police! I am currently being maliciously prosecuted for something I can prove I didn’t do. My abusers will never face justice, or even a police interview. They got away with killing a 12 year old (metaphoric), and they are still killing the same 39 year old, slowly and with complete contempt. Simply by being in care, my rights were and still are very much less than anyone else. What Warwickshire Police have done is to undermine me and my credibility, simply because they value their public image more than protecting vulnerable children. My Abusers are still out there, and because just one was based in North Wales, and I was abused in Shropshire, I don’t come under Pallial.
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